Dear Darling

Sometimes relationships break down, and hearts are broken. Sometimes one party is unfaithful. Sometimes not even all the I'm sorry's in the world can change that. Sometimes that needs to happen so two people can see just how much they love each other, need each other and how sorry the other really is.

...

Tibby,

I know what I've done, and there is no excuse. I just want you to know I'm sorry. I'm not asking for you to come back. I just need you to know, you are my everything. You're gone now and you're not coming back, ever, I need to accept that and move on. So this is the last you'll hear from me. Goodbye, my love.

I read the words over and over. I'd opened my flat door no more than 30 minutes ago to the letter. The letter from him. We'd broken up a month ago, and every day was a struggle, I thought about going back but I'd never heard tell of him since we broke up, I thought he was over me. Some days I thought I was over him other days he was all I could think of. His face was everywhere, through the magazines, in shop windows, and his voice on the radio. The news of our break up was still all over the news. People were guessing what happened, but they were all wrong. We were madly in love so in love but his constant travelling, his career, it was tearing us apart. The fans were nothing but supportive, if Olly was happy they were happy. We were happy but then rumours started to spread.

Eddy H was caught kissing a girl clearly not his girlfriend in a nightclub. This is what I woke to on Twitter. The fans had been sending me many messages on Twitter saying how sorry they were and hoping that it was just rumoured.

@Tibby_Jaclyn I hope the rumours about Eddy are not true

@Tibby_Jaclyn Remember photoshop don't believe a thing until you talk with him

@Tibby_Jaclyn We're here for you girl DM us any time

I tweeted back for everyone not to worry I would talk with Olly when he got back from tour. He was due to be back today that's the only reason he would be out drinking last night. I sat on the couch and waited for him to walk in the door of our Loft. We had called the Loft home for almost 6 months now. When we first moved in it was falling apart and needed fresh paint and cleaning. We had to completely replace the kitchen. But we did it together, we painted the walls light brown because we agreed white was too overused. We brought new furniture for the place and used old furniture as well. We built a beautiful home just for the two of us. I sat staring out the window trying to find what I would say. I was brought from my thoughts by the sound of the front door opening.

“Tib I'm home” Eddy walked in bag in hand smile plastered on his face

“Please tell me it's not true” I let a tear slide

“What do you mean, love?” He asked

“The girl last night the one who your photographed kissing” I raised my voice slightly

“Shit” Eddy dropped his bag and joined me on the lounge

“Tell me you didn't” I sobbed

“I'm so sorry” Eddy tried to hug me

“Don't touch me” I stood up

“Babe listen it was a once-off, I know it's no excuse but I had a bit too much to drink”

“Did you sleep with her?” I asked getting quite angry

“Excuse me” Eddy asked

“Did you fuck her Eddy” I yelled in his face

“I...I don't remember” Eddy was clearly lying

“You did, didn't you? Oh, how could I not see this come? You're a big deal now and you can get in the pants of any girl you want, so tell me how many more are there?” I yelled

“It was a once off I swear” Eddy yelled back

“I don't believe you Edward” I yelled

“Why would I destroy us? Everything I do, I do for us? Can't you see that? Or don't care? Are you too damn stubborn?” Eddy yelled

“Me? Stubborn? I'm not the sleep around I've been nothing but faithful to you”

“Faithful? You've been faithful?” Eddy yelled, “Then whose the guy you've had here in our home?”

“How did you know about that?” I was taken back

“Ah so you've been cheating too” Eddy yelled

“No, he is my friend Eddy, he broke up with his Girlfriend and I've been helping him through” I rose my voice again

“By fucking him I bet” He yelled

“No, he comes around when he wants to talk we have tea and talk”

“What's his name?” Eddy rubbed his temples

“Henry” I said

That was the last thing said before I grabbed my jacket. I went straight to Henry's and stayed with him for a few weeks until I got a place of my own.

I had to go see Olly. I folded the letter up and put it in my back pocket. I grabbed my keys off the bench and left. I began to drive the familiar streets back to the Loft my radio was softly playing, it wasn't until I heard his name I actually listened. The announcer spoke about a new song just released by Eddy I turned up the radio to listen to it. As the words left the speakers I remembered what he wrote at the bottom of the letter. They were song lyrics, he wrote me a song. I pulled over and listened to the song. I could hear it in his voice, when he sang he let his emotions take over. I broke down, and I started to cry. The only thing I could think of was when we finally finished the Loft.

It had been a long day. We had re-arranged furniture until we were happy with how everything looked and we had unpacked boxes of clothes, plates, cups and other odds and ends that we had left. We hung numerous pictures and made the Loft a home. At the end of it all we were tired, it had been rough few weeks but finally, we were done. I went for a quick shower and when I returned Eddy was laying on our bed, hands behind his head staring at the ceiling. I crossed the room and crawled up on the bed. I laid my head on his chest, one of his arms quickly finding its way around me. I cIosed my eyes and listened to Eddy's heartbeat. It was like a melody, putting me to sleep. Eddy knew I was tired so he began to sing. He sang Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol the singing caused his chest to vibrate. I sighed and let myself slip off to sleep. I could always listen to him sing another day.

I wiped my eyes and turned the engine on again, continuing my drive.It didn't take me long to find myself standing outside his Loft again. I made my way, into the foyer. I walked over to the elevator and pressed the button for the floor where the loft is. As it reached the top I began to have second thoughts what if I find him sleeping with another girl in the bed we use to share? Or what if his letter was a suicide note and he was dead in the Loft? I shook the thoughts from my head and exited the elevator which had arrived at the top floor. I walked over to the loft door, I raised my fist to knock on the door but was stopped by what I heard on the other side. Eddy was singing.

I couldn't bear to listen. I opened the door with the key I kept just in case I ever had to return. I stood at the door tears in my eyes. I looked across at Eddy taking in his appearance. He was normally clean and tidy. His usual stubble was now growing into a beard, he had black rings around his eyes from not sleeping and mostly drinking, and his usually clean long dark hair was messy and dirty. He looked like he hadn't showered in days. Empty booze bottles littered every surface, just confirming what I had thought. Eddy was visibly shocked to see me. I reached behind me and pulled out the letter holding it up so he could see.

“Hear me out,” I said through tears “I read your letter, I heard the song, I'm only here because I love you dammit I love you so much more than I should right now. It's been hell without you, I've spent so many nights crying myself to sleep waiting to hear you sing to me again, I want to try us again, I'm willing to forget what happened if you are I'm not saying I'm going to be able to trust you completely straight away that's something you'll have to work on regaining, but I need you right now, I need you to hold tell me we're going to get better”

“Tibby your my world, what I did I would never do on purpose and I will never do again, I'm happy with you, I'm complete with you, without you my world is dark, I know I need to regain your trust I'll work hard to prove myself to you"

"I missed you Eddy"

"I missed you too Tib"

Without a second thought, I ran into his arms. It just felt right, felt like home. Olly placed two fingers beneath my chin forcing me to look up at him. He captures my lips with his. It was a soft, loving kiss. But it was all I needed to know he was telling the truth.